The DP....

Morning when I saw your whats app Profile... I was shocked to see that you have changed your DP. was it on public demand or???Another answer I struggle to find. 

Another Sleepless night

The desperation was unbearable.
Shall I???
Another sleepless night
I waited and waited
For the long awaited tryst
Only a single night
That I always said you owe
But somewhere emotions
Clashed...
Was it your reputation?
Was it your hatred?

Somewhere the wounded self respect said
Was it love?
Or all about using a dustbin ???
where u dump your frustrations
In the name of love?
Was it ????
Was it????

Perhaps it was all about my perfume
Another Mystery

Facebook.... late night searches and nostalgia of 17 years

Life has taken so many turns -- ups and downs and amazing moments. Suddenly the name took back to another era which I have left behind 17 years back.

A hazy picture... resolute, firm and with same attitude... seen long years back. I messaged I poked and looked again and again to see that is this the same one???

 And thus the journey began. Life would not have been so beautiful as it is today.   The day came we chatted, we talked and ....we were together in an eternal bonding.

I don’t know where and how the closeness started. The longingness grew... and so the desperateness..Calls after calls.....the desire to be together increased and so the feelings.

Life can never give such beautiful moments than the thoughts of being with someone who understands and cares. 48 hours passed...and so our desperateness. I waited and waited. Each moment was like a year for me. The eagerness grew and desire overpowered my emotions. 

So many questions knocked at the mind’s door... How did it happen? What do all these long calls signify and the unending waiting??? Where is it taking me? Perhaps another chapter,... another expectation and something of a never before experience... unknown, untouched but true.

It’s hard to believe. I desperately waited... for an unknown union... perhaps for another eternal tryst.

Flying to unknown but your nearness remained a longingness...

Uncertain...its a long way but travelling meant so many things to me. I couldnot resist from being with you and breaking free to unknown.

The longingness to be together became the concern and we waited long long time to see the unseen in the wavy waterflow. The numbness prolonged and before realising love I felt your indifference. Time passed with so much of uncertainty. People passed and so are the boats sailed and...... we waited and waited.

I wonder was there a reason to be there sitting in the schrocing sun tolerating all sorts of indifference. An hour was with us but I wonder was the hour mine? Despite the nearness I was far. May be the assumptions are different but the feelings!

It was hard to understand, unless you specified that nearness to you is something which is abstract. It is just sitting near so that you can be busy with your cell chattering aimlessly.
Time passed to eternity and you didn't even cared to ask.....what that all meant to be with you?

I doubt was it amazing to be with u???? Was it fulfilling????? or Was it another reason to be unhappy????
 

No one has time for me

Life has different lessons to teach you every time. All are busy.It is hard to understand what is going on in your mind I can only assume and presume that " I am unimportant".
The problem is that, the thing that seems very important for you may not be so important for others. All of us are so selfish that we forget to see the others' problems as problems. The main thing is my problem is more important and for others theirs....
No one has time for others. I always expected that there will be atleast one person who will understand me and care for me but....I was perhaps wrong. I am no longer important for you. You don't have feelings, but have practicality. You know I can give you nothing and so are your thoughts. You count everything on "give and take". I always took and never gave.... therefore you have no expectation.. so no time for me

In trying to understand a relation….

It is very easy to propagate or advocate. But are all things that are advocated real? I know you have a reason for everything—a reason to love, a reason to share your moments, a reason to give excuses and a reason to hate. But what’s beyond that?

It is very nice when you say, “I am tied up…” but there is always a way when there is a will. It is very easy to make an excuse and say live a life for others. But not everyone can be great. You quoted, Do you know ‘Grahambell, the scientist who invented the phone never called his family.’

Graham had good reasons in doing so. How will he call…. His wife and daughter were deaf. But not everyone can be as wise as Grahambell’s wife, and what if the person is someone more than the family?

It’s always true no one can be so dear to you until and unless you love. For any relation to exist, love is the binding factor—no matter lust also accompanies. It is unintelligible to me, what bind us? Is it love …. Is it lust…. or a “nihilism”.

Life is very short to fulfill all your obligations. But, what makes a life, if you cannot sacrifice a few seconds for someone who really needs you. I never said be with me forever… neither did I say come to my life and bless me with your caring. Never did I ask fill my life with laughter. It happened. Everything was predestined and all was as you desired.

I don’t know what relation exists? You make me miss you, you make me smile; you make me cry and above all you make me expect your presence. I lack understanding…. Do you feel the same the way I do?

It is easy to say…. but is it not so easy to care and love someone really. I don’t know. It pains when you are hurt.

I wonder, do I belong to someone. Does a relation really exist?

I try to understand…. and so I go on searching a meaning….

Celebrating… with loneliness…

Everywhere you see there is nothing but ….vacuum… Long back the thought of “belongingness” have withered. You should know you are born to be alone, celebrate alone and die alone. Perhaps that is the ultimate truth of life, “You belong to everyone but you belong to no one.”

So, hail and celebrate… loneliness will never leave your company and you have your faithful mobile and the Internet to follow. What if they don’t have life or they cannot feel... They understand how needy you are. May be that is why the phone lets every known or unknown calls to reach you, blinks when you miss and informs about all those flirty messages that speaks a lot but never means. So does your computer; you can scold it, express your feelings and write whatever you like. It will never leave you unless you leave.

As always, by now you should understand you are not to expect because you are no way their own, ’cos if not of heart, you need to be of blood. Life has different priorities and so, is the scarcity of time. You are destined to be neglected, because life has lot to do other than continuing a relation of no reasons. Before landing up in the “illusion of love”, think again—do you mean anything to the one you love? Do you deserve to be loved and so on.

An impossible dream! How can you expect to celebrate with someone for whom you mean nothing? How can you say it is love that binds us, whereas there is nothing but lust alone…

Yeah, it is loneliness that will never deceive you. Even if you beg, it will not leave you. Learn to rejoice your loneliness. Live every moment, share and give it your best! You can be sure it will never leave your company—be it your birthday or your death.

Accept the reality—and be grateful that even if God has not given you anything he has given you one precious thing—loneliness.