A foot massage… a glass of fresh lime in the BUZZ ….and an evening’s confession

Still unsure.. shall I call it a date or something else? Was there an agenda for meeting or mere selfish pleasure of being in the company?

I never realized, loving someone can be so amazing, especially when you know you are no one to the person you love.
I know my first statement itself is contradictory. But things are not as it seem to be….

No plans. Shall we go for a cup of coffee? May be to “Barista” or in the nearest “Costa”…. Everything is so uncertain. No guesses, no decision and no destination. An aimless journey and untiring waiting…..

And once you are on the tryst, something even more marvelous waits for you. So what could be your first date like, that too with someone who has never loved you or neither have a desire to love. I can understand you must be puzzled again—
How could I call it a date?
Yeah of course—it was a wonderful experience— a splendid foot massage—some serene moments in the dimmed corner of “BUZZ” and two exploring eyes in search of “ultimate truth”.
I wonder, does “utopia” really exist! Let’s not assume or neither manipulate. What appears may not be reality —but if anything you can call a “heaven on earth” was last night’s “date”. It was as pleasant as living in a dream—soft touches under the spell of mesmerizing musical notes…. What more? A 30 minutes foot massage—away from the humdrum is all you are destined to.
For a second I felt let’s hold this moment….The slow circular movements of her tiny hands, and the cool surroundings—dimly lit antique-looking room— as if you are in an utopian world. What mattered more was the “time” which I never wanted to lose. With every passing second I could feel time is too short and the next moment I look back I will no longer find him beside me. May be it was a strong desire or a longing-ness to be close to someone you love (again let me remind someone who does not love you). Was it just a moment’s pleasure or a strong wish to be one with my feelings I don’t know. Wonder is this love that was in the airs?

You know it was a date….. (Let me specify, a date with some one who does not love you). What next? Let’s go to “BUZZ”. I was hesitant but somewhere deep down inside my heart my conscience said “I have dedicated the evening in your name”. Spellbound I moved on— I felt there odd man out…. Sipping fresh lime I sat beside—don’t know what would have been my best behaviour at that moment. May be my company itself meant a lot or may be I could have joined for the beer for a last cheer. It was a matter of being with someone dear—no matter it was a bar or in the war.

Time moved in its winged chariot—but I remained where I was— only to realize that someone is becoming indispensable for me (I told early it is my first date with someone who does not love me)… So, which is the next destination?

It was already 10 PM, we had to rush back. Thoughts creeped in, the car moved on swiftly exploring the realms of darkness….. a long way to go….. and you don’t know where you are heading towards!

(I moved on with a promise not to look back again….. only to realize I am no more where I was…. The vacuum existed… and I carried along the obligation of an evening’s confession……)