It is said, expectations never end—a never ending journey. It goes on. May be this time it can be something more than what actually you would like to possess.
Everything is crystal clear but still you desire only to realise that you have reached no where near to the realm of happiness. You know the person you desire have no soft corner, because if love is not in the heart than love cannot be in the airs.
Life is just crazy—you don’t know where next— whatever comes to you brings along lot of sufferings and joy. I feel very restless. A whole lot of things haunt my mind. Is it so difficult to forgive someone? Why is it becoming difficult for me to digest what he confessed?
I wonder, whether I am doing the right thing! We all live in a self created exile hiding our faces under a veil, slowly closing the eyes just like the cat that closes his eyes while stealing milk, pretending as if no one in the world has seen him.
Sometimes I am in a dilemma, are we actually living or pretending to live?? What made him confess was neither love for me nor respect. May be he wanted to lighten the heart by speaking out to someone….or may be anyone.
Is it guilt or something else that made him confess, I am unsure. But what he said made me look at relationships from a completely different dimension. Where lies the essence of relationship, which he had with that “girl”? Was it love, lust or a mere habit of fulfilling the “needs”? Again and again I think, first time it was a mistake but can we call it a “mistake” if done intentionally again and again?
Which phase of love is it? If it is love than how can be society and obligations overrule it and if it is a mere question of “satisfying the lust” why with someone whom you give the name of “love”!
Was it infatuation then? You liked to spend time, you shared feelings, you loved …..and enjoyed that ecstatic moments of being in delectation. Now you completely refute there was anything called love, but that was only a no-obligation, mutually compromising agreement. So, is love an agreement then? Once your needs are fulfilled you impose all the blame upon the other person, majestically denying the fact that anyone can see what reality is?
Still unsure, can a relationship exist only on “terms and conditions” with no love to hold them together. Does it actually deserve to be called a relationship at all? The debate goes on….. A never ending quest…..
Thursday, September 18, 2008
An untold story ….the confessions….
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2 comments:
Love actually evolves on a soil made up of desire to fall in love and to be loved by some one. When it evolves and looks like a visible tree the interesting thing is that one comes to know that this is love but then is that tree as charming as the earlier mystery?
Very neat in your construction. You seem to be a very sensitive person. Really loved to read your blog. My personal viewpoint regarding the issue under consideration is that even though a relationship can exist only with "terms and conditions and nothing else", LOVE doesn't have this kind of obligations. When there is love, you do not have any "terms and conditions". Then life becomes smooth. You simply live. Life becomes intolerable with terms and conditions. It becomes easy with LOVE. But love should not be used as an weapon, rather it should be the way of life.
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